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Given that things have been a little testy around here lately, I thought maybe a little humor would lighten things up. It's my hope it doesn't offend anyone and gives us a little chuckle.

Merry Christmas to all you guys.

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Nice!

Thanks! That is very funny!

Freaking Brilliant!

After reading this it made me really think....... it could be a clogged fuel filter.

Also might be a clogged cerebrium,

or even not enough blood left to circulate to the brain.

These also should bring a smile or two. But don't thank me, thank YFAM Randy Berger!

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams ... If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." ~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a spaz.
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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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To some, it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

" Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

And it took me all weekend, but I finally got my tree up!

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No, I tend to agree with BigKev, a clogged fuel filter or line have the same effect; then again, depending on the ambient temperature, it could even be an iced up fuel line, let's not forget the effect of condensation in colder climes!

cheers,
michael

The husband can buy her a new car and a pair of diamond earings and everything will be ok. Seems to work every time.

BTW Ozstatesman. That's a most creative idea for a tree!! I love it!!! Somewhere around here i have an old pic of a kind of, well, lets say a Cheech and Chong type Christmas tree. Maybe i can get it scanned and posted in time for Christmas.

A little levity is a welcome break - thank you Dave, Mal, Kev and all who posted. Ya got a smile outta me!

PS HH56 I PM'd you.